Saturday, 21 December 2019

One Year Ago...


One year ago, on this day, I married the professor!
We had a super small ceremony, just immediate family, and followed it up with drinks and nibbles at home then ice-skating and a meal in the evening. 
It wasn't what most would think of when they think 'wedding' but it was very us and just how we wanted it.

In the weeks proceeding the wedding, people kept asking me if it felt different being Mrs Professor and I kept looking at them blankly for it didn't. We'd been together a month shy of 15 years when we got married so in our minds we were already married... Just without the legal paperwork.
Plus, if we didn't know each other after 15 years (about 13 living together) then we had bigger problems!

Now, one year on from that day, I've had time to reflect on whether my 'nothing is different' still holds true... And it does: Our relationship is no different. However, there are two huge things that have taken a lot of getting used to. Why did nobody tell me that remembering these two things would be so bloody difficult?!

Number One - My New Name

After much debating, I decided to change my surname to match that of my husband and son. 
I thought it would be straight forward - and updating it on documents/accounts has been - but remembering my name?! Not so much!

The number of times I've sat in a stakeholder meeting and introduced myself as my maiden name and then had to immediately correct myself is embarrassing.

Not to mention when someone calls me by my married name and there's that awkward time delay while my brain process and accepts the information before I move to respond.


Number Two - My new Signature

Settling on a new signature was simple. Remembering to use it? Really, not so much. 
I have to pause and think then sign very deliberately and carefully... I feel like a forger.
Every. Single. Time.
Even now... "I've signed the wrong name."
(Seriously, this happened again only a couple of days ago!)


So, anyway... The fundamentals of life haven't shifted but some of the little things are still taking a lot of getting used to.

A friend of mine pointed out that I've been using my birth name my entire life so until I've been using my married name for just as long, I have a pass. Although, it'll be a bit weird if I'm still using/signing 'the wrong name' when I'm in my 60's... I'm hopeful this will resolve in another year or two, lol.

🌻

Want to know something else I learned from getting married?
Families are bat shit crazy.
I mean, I always kind of knew that but nothing highlights the crazy like a wedding.

I legit have an aunt and uncle combo that aren't speaking to me anymore because they weren't invited to the wedding, despite the fact that the only people who were invited to our wedding were our parents & parental figures, surviving grandparents, siblings and our son. Oh! And not to mention the fact they hadn't been in regular contact for about 5 years before we got married...



Weddings just seem to make people nutso!

People will offer advice and suggestions constantly whether it's wanted or not.
People will give you their opinion on your choices whether requested or not.
People will try to influence you to do/have x, y, or z no matter how you plan on getting married.
People think they have the right to dictate what you do.
My conclusion is that you've just got to ignore everyone and get married your way.
It's your wedding, and you do what you want, what you can afford and you invite who you want.
Nod and smile and be polite and do it your way.
(This is my unsolicited wedding advice to those who it applies! lol)

Anyway...
Happy anniversary to us!


22 comments:

  1. Happy anniversary, Nicci! Congrats on one year of marriage... plus those other 15 years or so. LOL

    So right about people losing it over weddings. It's mind-boggling. Everyone has an opinion. About YOUR wedding. I am the biggest proponent of doing exactly what you want... your way. Which is exactly why we scrapped it all and eloped 20 years ago. LOL

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    1. Thanks!
      I wish we'd eloped. We contemplated it before the little dude was born but delayed and then... Well, Vegas isn't practical anymore with a kid, lol.

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  2. The one real life friend I had who got married had the same issues changing her name and signature. Doing things the way you want is way more important than anything. My parents refused to invite freeloading cousins to their wedding and got abuse for it but it kept the wedding free of drunken obnoxious idiots! Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!

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  3. Happy Anniversary! You're absolutely right, families are weird AF AND you had the best wedding for you (not the best because of tradition or familial pressure, the best for you guys, which is the important part!)

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  4. Happy anniversary!! I'm not surprised that you don't feel much different being married when you've been together so long, but I can definitely relate to the fact that it takes a while to get used to a new name!!

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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    1. The new name... Part of me thinks it would have been easier just to keep mine! lol

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  5. That's the way to do it! What's with all those long-lost parents who feel entitled to a slice of your (literal) cake?

    Congrats and best wishes!

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  6. Your marriage and my marriage have similarities... we were together 15 years before we married and this July will be married for 5. 19 years together total.
    Happy anniversary to you both!

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  7. How wonderful that you did it your way. Congratulations!

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  8. Happy Anniversary to you and the Professor, Nicci!

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  9. Happy Anniversary, Nicci! You are so right about all the wedding crazies! Very good advice for all. :)

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    1. I've had a few friends get married in the past few years - all our weddings very different - but listening to the stories... it truly baffled me how insane it makes people! lol

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  10. Happy anniversary. I totally get the feeling like you're already married even though you're not. Ken and I have been together for 29 years and we aren't married. I just don't see the need. lol But we feel married just the same.

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    1. Exactly so! What is a marriage? The commitment or the bit of paper? I have this discussion with everyone on the regular because to me, it's the commitment and you don't need a bit of paper to declare that.

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  11. My husband and I eloped so I didn't have to deal with anything (other than disappointment in our choice lol)

    one neat thing is that my husband and I have the same initials - KEA so that's easy to remember! Ha.

    Happy 1 year anniversary!

    Karen @ For What It's worth

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    1. We debated Vegas about 9 years ago but since the kid came along it became less of an option. This was the compromised. :)

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