Hello everyone!
I've been awol and I'm sorry but I've been in a really strange mental space lately and I needed to turn it all off and breathe!
It may sound a bit strange but it was like I'd been so wired and stressed since March that my brain was constantly in hyperdrive and I just couldn't switch off.
I struggled to settle on TV shows. I struggled to watch movies. I struggled to read... Blogging was a chore as I couldn't find the energy to focus my brain long enough to write and I was working myself up into a right state about trying to keep on top of it as well as commenting and visits and everything else I had to do in life... So I switched it off.
If I didn't need to do something I spared no energy to even try and just saved it for the thing that I did need to do.
I was turning into a proper anxiety-ridden mess (ha! there was no 'turning') and I just needed time to reset. To be honest, I've not completely calmed tf down yet but I'm getting better...
Mental health is a funny beast sometimes.
Things are going well at the moment so I have no logical reason to be how I'm feeling but it is what it is.
My plan is to step back a bit until I have space to breathe again and see how I go with picking activities back up. Once I get my reading mojo properly back I'll know I'm back up and running! Reading used to be an escape when the world gets too much but I've found in the past couple of years that it's now one of the things that suffers most. 😞
I'll be slowly popping back up online to visit as I genuinely miss knowing what's going on with people!
I'll also be working in the background on scheduling some posts so I don't feel totally overwhelmed all the time.
I'll post my Sunday Posts and I'll have the odd previously scheduled post going live too...
Hopefully, it won't be too long before I'm back proper.
Aside from this, the career level promotion at work is officially live, the professor's new car is awesome, the new hamsters are freaking weird (and super fast!), my cats keep bringing feathers into the house and leaving them on desks and kitchen counters(!) to disturb me (luckily it's not the actual birds!) and it's a bank holiday weekend here this week so I get an extra day out of the office tomorrow. (Woo!)

In the past couple of weeks...
Paperback
I love Buffy. I've wanted to read this for a while. Seeing it on the shelf in Forbidden Planet? Well, it just seemed like it was time.
Kindle Unlimited
We have a 'bully' romance and an 'oops I got knocked up by my boss' romance and I don't think I'm even sorry... Although, I haven't read them yet. I may be very sorry afterwards. 😆
99p Sale
I loved book one in this series and couldn't resist book 2 when I saw it on sale.
Anyone see the line up for RARE 2020?
It's in Edinburgh and I will be stalking the event website for tickets as soon as they're available for I'm going. Not, I want to go, but I'm going.
I'll break the refresh button on June 1st to make sure it is so.
I've never been to a convention or signing and I promised myself that I'd stop talking about it and do it. RARE 2020 is in my city, Edinburgh is where the heart is and my mum lives close by, so I'm going home and going to that signing.
Watch this space for exploding fangirl when I get my mitts on a ticket...

How could I not?
Although... I don't think either of them contributes to long-term improvements with my mental health... Endgame, in particular, left me with a so-called hangover that I'm still struggling with over a week later!
🌻
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling and really hope that things improve soon xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Trish!
DeleteI really hate when I have a spell like that when I'm all anxious and stressed and just don't want to do anything at all. It can be really frustrating. I hope you can find something to help you chill out and relax a bit. I hope things improve soon for you. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThanks Chuckles!
DeleteGlad the professors car is working out well. I'm happy to hear the hamsters are working out well too.
ReplyDeleteThanks
DeleteMental health can indeed be a strange beast. Take all the time you need to rest and don't worry about blogging. We will all be here when you come back. :)
ReplyDeleteHope you can get tickets for RARE 2020. :)
Tânia @MyLovelySecret
Thanks Tania!
DeleteMental health is definitely a funny thing, and we never know when we're just gonna feel a certain way. Or just need a break from whatever.
ReplyDeleteEdinburgh sounds like a fantastic city. and RARE 2020 sounds amazing too!
Enjoy your long weekend!
Thanks Greg!
DeleteSlayer is on my wishlist too. It’s hard to read a book as an escape when you are a book blogger because you tend to feel as if you should be reviewing it. Maybe a reread of an old favourite is what you need.
ReplyDeleteI've started my Read A Series In A Month pick and it's helping! It's UF so I have a new world to sink into and it's good...
DeleteI've gone thru periods where I felt 100% overwhelmed and had to take a giant step back from everything that wasn't totally necessary. It's amazing how it helped and it makes me wonder if all the online time is actually detrimental for me. I don't know. Last week's GoT episode nearly did me in. I wasn't necessarily enjoying it but I also couldn't look away for a second. Can't wait for tonight's episode! Enjoy your extra day off tomorrow!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tanya!
DeleteAnxiety is really no fun and can really put a damper on EVERYTHING. I have been dealing for a while and sometimes I am doing really well but the last few weeks I have been having some issues, might have to make a trip to the doctor to see if he has anything to help because I am tired of feeling like this. Sorry for the rant but I totally feel you.
ReplyDeleteYAy for an extra day! Enjoy it!
Have a great week Nicci! Happy Reading! xx
Sorry you're struggling with it too!
DeleteHere's to kicking its ass, one way or another!
I'm glad you're feeling a little better. I've done that a few times. Last time I left the online world for an entire month and came back feeling much better. Sometimes you just need to stop, de-stress, recharge and come back a little at a time. I hope you post pictures of the hamsters. I love that you have them.
ReplyDeleteI finally got some pictures! They're so twitchy getting one somewhat in focus is a challenge!
DeleteHopefully finding a new routine will help break you out of your struggles. And good luck getting tickets to RARE!! I'm so excited for you! I would love to see Edinburg one day.
ReplyDeleteI'm stalking the RARE announcements... June 1st tickets go live, lol.
DeleteOh yes - do look after yourself. I've also been struggling recently and easing off the blog while I get myself a bit steadier and mentally stronger. You're right - it's not straightforward, is it? Take care and have a great week, Nicci:)
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you've been struggling lately too!
DeleteAnxiety and stress can really dampen enjoyment in life and the ability to relax. It's so hard to change one's way of thinking, and it's something I struggle with as well. I hope things get better and you find a way to bring peace and relaxation in to your life. Take Care of yourself Nicci :)
ReplyDeleteLindy@ A Bookish Escape
Thank you
DeleteWith the stresses of everyday life, I think we all need to step back and breathe sometimes. I was astounded to see all the stress-relief sessions at the library conference this year. It's madness. I had to take up yoga some years back when I got a new boss, and I've continued to find yoga helpful.
ReplyDeleteThe Little Vintage Carousel looks like a perfect read during a stressful time.
I think I need to find something physical to cope with stresses...
DeleteI truly hope things get better for you :/ Anxiety can really put you in a dark hole. But try breathing techniques. They have helped me a lot or doing exercise and moving around to keep my mind busy.
ReplyDeleteAnd yay to GoT!
Genesis @ Whispering Chapters
Thanks. I've been thinking I need to find something physical to help with balancing myself out...
DeleteI hope the break works out well for you and your mojo in all areas of your life is restored.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sam.
DeleteI'm sorry your mental health was suffering a bit. I know how that can be. Sometimes you really do just need to step back and not stress over things. I hope that you are feeling better!
ReplyDelete-Lauren
www.shootingstarsmag.net
Thanks Lauren! Getting there...
DeleteSometimes you need the downtime.
ReplyDeleteI haven't had an energy to read or blog in months. I get an idea and then go outside instead. Then I want to blog about where Iv'e gone or eaten or whatever but no energy lol
Karen @ For What It's Worth
Fingers crossed our mojo returns!
DeletePretty Reckless looks really good! I haven't read anything from L.J. Shen but I've heard amazing things!! Have a great week!! =)
ReplyDelete~ Kendra @ Kendra Loves Books
You too!
DeleteMental health is defintely a funny thing but breaks are good! Take all the time you need. And yes to GoT!!!
ReplyDeleteGoT!! This week is going to be so stressful after last week's episode!
DeleteSorry you've been having a rough time lately. Praying you get back to your routine (and find peace in it) soon!
ReplyDeleteNicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction
Thanks!
DeleteDo what you gotta do! I'm glad the break has been helping a little bit at least :-) Also I'd definitely call it a win that your cats are just bringing you feathers and not whole birds lol.
ReplyDeleteRight? I've had a whole bird once... Not fun. Thankfully, not since we moved to this house!
DeleteSounds very familiar to the state I am in since months. Don´t push things. Do what you gotta do, and hopefully you will feel much better soon.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
Vi
Thanks Vi!
DeleteI haven't been around much either, finding my interest in anything really not what it used to be. My brain always in overdrive. I feel for you and hope things are turning around for you. I am glad you enjoyed The Little Carousel by the Sea. I have my eye on that one as well. I hope you have a great time at RARE. It sounds like great fun, and I wouldn't want to miss it if I were you either! I hope you have a wonderful week, Nicci.
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteI myself suffer from depression. My daughter is bi-polar and has major depression and anxiety. I am sorry you are going through this and I know how it can be. Metal health is a funny/fickle thing. I hope it gets better and stays that way but it's mostly ups and downs. I get it. I hope you get your MITTS on those tickets. I am going to BookCon this year with my daughter and sister in law and I am extremely excited - it's a first for me.
ReplyDeleteMary
Thanks Mary.
DeleteBook Con sounds lots on fun! I hope you have a great time!